Trailer Park Six – May 17 2009

For those who disliked the snark of the last TPS, you may want to cover your eyes. This week I got the Halloween sequel! And not just that…I got Cuba Gooding Jr AND Steven Seagal! These two need to star in a movie together! It would be classic! Now with more exclamation points!! Well let crack open the first one…. 


I like the hoodie look for Mikey. I hate that raspy voice dude. I mean he makes the Lionsgate guy sound like velvet jones. I am glad that Malcolm McDowell is getting work. I am still unmoved by Rob Zombie’s work. I know the guy has got a kickass DVD collection but I am still left cold. I did not see the Halloween remake and probably won’t see this.  It just seems soulless, like a six foot four serial killer. 

The Devil’s Tomb

Is it just me or is this really just you got your “The Thing” in my “Prince of Darkness”?  John Carpenter would be turning over in his grave if he wasn’t actually alive. Henry Rollins as a priest? Is that a sign of the apocalypse? Also couldn’t help but wonder if I could get a job as Ron Perlman’s agent. It’s not like that guy is doing his job. At the 1:41 mark my spirits lifted when I saw that Riff Raff was getting work again. And oh yeah Cuba Gooding Jr is in it too. Please contain your excitement. 

Sleep Dealer

Am I all snarked out all ready? This looks pretty good to me. The inter-titles are a bit meh but everything looks good to go here.  I like the fact the movie is allowed to speak for itself. What I dislike so much about voiceovers is they don’t trust the audience to understand anything. Hey I got to bitch about something! So it wasn’t a total washout. Maybe this will make it to dvd someday.

Against The Dark

Bad lens flare effects? Check. Generic heavy music? Check. Struggling B list actor? Check. Inter-titles that tell you all you need to know? Check. My work may be done here but I have one question. Why are vampire hunters tracking zombies?


The opening of this trailer is the creepiest thing I have seen in awhile. No leading musical cues, no fast cutting, just yikes. After that though things start to take on a made for TV feel.  Sure I’m smelling Frailty but not enough to kill the odor of Lifetime. (Not to get all parenthetical but doesn’t Bereavement sound like a goth perfume?) Michael Beihn and John Savage don their t-shirts and flannels to play small town folk. I like the fact that the white trash characters here feel more real and less cartoonish than you find in your standard redneck bloodbath. Trailer gets too scream-y for me in the end. Not as in the movie franchise but as in the sound. Like I am going to forget this is a horror movie. Speaking of a twist, turns out this is actually a prequel for a movie I have not heard too much good about. Will this stop me from checking it out? Like it is going to get even close to where I live.    

Plague Town

I’ve been hearing about Plague Town for months now. I have gone from feeling like it’s just another piece of horror cliche crap to thinking maybe just maybe it will transcend its influences. Trust me I like junk food horror as much as next guy but can the genre get a transfusion please! I like the look of the film and the music is a nice mix of tribal drums and ambient keyboards. I think part of my hope for this one is two fold. Dark Sky Films, the producers of this one, are true genre fans and not some bozo looking to make Saw money. And then there is David Gregory, the director. I like the documentary work he has done on Blue Underground releases and would really like to see this guy knock one out with debut fiction film. It’s out now and I already have it cued up on Netflix.  I mean it has to be better than 90% of the dross that makes it to dvd, right?


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