Trailer Park Six July 2009

Well here I am again! We are mixing it up this month because modern movies are boring me to death right now. Sure we down some recent ones but then we pillage the world of 70s and 80s cult films. I am trying to open this up and not go chasing after the fickle attention of the average web-surfer. (So I’ll just mention Aretha’s Hat just this once!) Now with more personal disclosures! Don’t worry this hasn’t become an online diary. That’s just creepy. Onto the six…

Jennifer’s Body

I know who Cody Diablo is but I haven’t seen Juno. I know I’m supposed to but I just haven’t felt like it.  A friend played me some songs from the soundtrack. I was, like, okay, that’s nice.  Another friend when I tried to explain my love of splattery horror goodness from Italy, told me hey, Cody name checks that. Still no bite from me. It’s buried in my netflix cue where it will stay for the rest of its days, being moved further down as something else gets my attention. WAIT! This isn’t about Juno but Jennifer’s Body. Actually it is about Megan Fox’s, if you heard the collective gasp of fanboys when they heard they just might get a side-boob or butt cheek. 

And yeah this trailer sells the movie as what it is. An early 21st century take on the 80s horror thing. Appreciated the use of the film to speak for itself without Mr. Sore Throat trying to creep me out.  The crisp cinematography helped me ignore the fact that the kids are a little too emo for me. I don’t think that Megan Fox will sink this film because she is playing within her range. It doesn’t feel like a stretch. Okay maybe the pure evil,  killing boys part.

Return Of The Living Dead

Speaking of 80s horror, here’s a classic. Picture my surprise when heard Mr. Sore Throat’s uncle chime in at the start of this trailer. Still the movie is allowed to do most of its own talking. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen this one. It is one of a handful of horror comedies which delivers on both fronts. The acting is good with the older actors keeping it grounded in the classic horror style while the rest of them spinning it out into teen comedy territory. I also want to mention William Stout who does some great design work here that evokes EC comics without being slavish. The tar man zombie is a great iconic figure for ROTLD. In this trailer they do give up some of the better bits of the film. But not everything. If you are nuts about horror films this is one to watch. The homage/wink to Romero’s unrelated original Night Of The Living Dead is po-mo without the attitude. Dan O’Bannon, where art thou? Send more films.


I am so dreading this movie. I am a big fan of the director Dario Argento’s earlier films. It has been a slow and steady decline since the 90s with a detour or two into goodness. I think the thing that people forget about Argento is that he is a pop director. For all his bravado,flash and gore, he really just wants to please his audience. I have yet to see his MOH’s features, “Jennifer” and “Pelts” but I have this feeling this is where his latest phase really starts. By trying to update to modern audiences, he is losing the thread here. This movie despite it’s beautiful (the trailer is too dark!) look, it feels like another post Lector/Bone Collector serial killer flick. And I have had my fill of those. The acting looks to be a step up from usual Argento fare but is that what we are looking for in a Dario picture? I want a waking nightmare not an unintentional comedy. Sometimes I want to blame CSI for this shit.  Call me shallow.

Big Trouble in Little China

Even the guy with swollen tonsils can’t stop me from smiling. Russell and Carpenter are hard to best when it comes to sheer entertainment value. Is it deep? Hell, no! But mixing Russell’s John Wayne delivery style with asian action visuals is inspired. I also like how Carpenter just places the camera in the right spot and goes. There is a purity to it which reminds me why I watch movies. If you aren’t having fun, why bother?Granted sometimes I have strange ideas of what’s fun..

High Crime

This fan made trailer for Enzo Castellari ‘s High Crime is perfect. It goes on a bit long, uses some cheesy dissolves, and gives a way too many plot points. In other words just like the trailers that were coming out of Italy in the 70s. None of these points are why I like this trailer. I gotta confess I love that lounge-tastic music! And they put that front and center here. I am also struck by how kinetic and powerful the action is here. People raised on CGI and conditioned by computer games will chuckle at the color of the blood or the racing Fiats spotted here. Yes I admit I get some humor from it but still it is more than Mystery Science riffing that draws me to this stuff. The presence of Fernando Rey in this movie really clicked in my mind as it is points to The French Connection which in ways this film recalls. They even ripped off things better in the 70s!  I eagerly waiting to see this one. Did I mention that Franco Nero is awesome? 


This trailer really speaks for itself. All I can think to say is it is a shame that a movie like this has been consigned to the direct to dvd shelf. But with our societal anxiety about children, it should not come as any surprise. Creepiest trailer I’ve seen all year. Six months to go to see if it gets topped. But I doubt it will.

So that wraps up another six.  Sorry about the delay but what do you want for free? Wasn’t as much snark as I thought I had in me.  Trying to loosen up some here. Because if it is not fun, why do it?


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